The Top Ten Reasons I Hate Wine - One, The Unconscionable Expense

It costs so much...

Fine Champagne In Wine Humor

French Champagne in wine wit

French Champagne, eenie, meenie, meinie, mo.

Some of you may know me from my wine articles such as ďI Love Italian Wine and Food, Ē similar French and German series, and my new series ďA Wine Loverís Weekly Review of $10 Wine.Ē Itís true; I really do love wine and food from Italy, France, Germany, and other countries as well. And who among us can reject a bargain? But I also hate wine and many aspects of the wine scene. Let me explain my top ten reasons for this love-hate relationship.

Donít let anybody kid you. Good wine is expensive. Great wine is even more expensive. There are bargains, but finding them is like kissing scads of frogs to find a prince. You have to kiss a lot of frogs (yechh) before you get to kiss a prince. And to top it off, I donít even want to kiss any princes.

I do, however, want to drink fine wine. And the more fine wine that I drink, the more fine wine I want to drink. Before I started writing wine reviews, twenty dollars was more or less my limit for a bottle; now I almost feel like apologizing when I spend less than twenty. Having tasted some excellent wines in the forty-dollar range, I am dying to know how sixty-dollar wines taste. Needless to say, some will be disappointing. But in some ways it is worse to find an excellent sixty-dollar wine. I canít go around spending sixty dollars a bottle on a regular basis.

1961 Chateau Petrus in wine wit

1961 Chateau Petrus, if you have to ask...

I got permission from my wife to buy a single one hundred dollar bottle of wine per year. Such a bottle will cost me at least two hundred dollars; my wife is not a wine lover, and she will want a one hundred dollar item for herself. But thatís not the end of my wine expense problems. One of the most wine-savvy people I know recently described the pleasures of a $600 bottle of Chateau Petrus; a top of the line French red wine. I asked him if it was worth the money. His response was short and sweet, absolutely. I havenít yet gotten near that price point, butÖ

Here are the other reasons: The embarrassing lack of knowledge, No wine cellar, I canít get the Ö bottle opened, The insomnia, Food problems, Wine snobs, Those smells and those tastes, Those colors, Home brew, One more problem and yes, The Solution.

About the Author

Levi Reiss has authored or co-authored ten books on computers and the Internet, but to be honest, he would rather just drink fine Italian or other wine, accompanied by the right foods. He teaches classes in computers at an Ontario French-language community college. His wine websites include    and

Visit his website devoted to Italian travel

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