The Top Ten Reasons I Hate Wine - Five, The Insomnia

Dreaming about wine keeps me up at night...

Insomnia Is Sometimes A Restaurant In Wine Humor

Insomnia restaurant in wine wit

Insomnia restaurant and wine bar, Toronto, Canada.

Some of you may know me from my wine articles such as ďI Love Italian Wine and Food, Ē similar French and German series, and my new series ďA Wine Loverís Weekly Review of $10 Wine.Ē Itís true; I really do love wine and food from Italy, France, Germany, and other countries as well. And who among us can reject a bargain? But I also hate wine and many aspects of the wine scene. Let me explain my top ten reasons for this love-hate relationship. Previous articles discussed the unconscionable expense, the embarrassing lack of knowledge, no wine cellar, and I canít get the Ö bottle opened. This article discusses the insomnia that seems an inevitable part of my wine experience.

I canít help it. Drinking wine tends to keep me up at night, or more precisely wakes me up in the middle of the night. Iím very careful not to overdo the wine tasting and the imbibing. I usually limit the wine to dinner, even when Iím not driving. But I still find myself all bright-eyed and bushy tailed around four in the morning, especially if I have an early start the next morning. Usually I drift off to sleep just in time for the alarm to ring. I know a partial solution to this problem, spit out the wine. But I wasnít raised to spit, especially not in public and not to waste things - as if fine wine were a mere thing. Of course, in our house, buying a fine wine would have been considered the ultimate waste. But thatís another story.

While spitting is an option when tasting wine, the way I look at it, spitting and eating really donít go together. Perhaps I should take advantage of my insomnia and finally learn the Bordeaux classifications of 1855, that still rule more than one hundred fifty years later. If those classifications donít put you to sleep, nothing will. Many connoisseurs say that you canít be a true wine lover if you donít know them Ė wine snobs are the subject of another article. On the other hand, these fancy, schmanzy classifications arenít everything. Do you remember the top of the line French red Chateau Petrus costing $600 or more that I mentioned in a previous article? Well Chateau Petrus is not part of the Bordeaux classifications of 1855 or any other special classifications. And thatís no joke.

Bordeaux classification book in wine wit

Bordeaux classification book, a cure for insomnia.

Here are the other reasons that I hate wine, to be explored shortly: Food problems, Wine snobs, Those smells and those tastes, Those colors, Home brew, One more problem and yes, The Solution.

About the Author

Levi Reiss has authored or co-authored ten books on computers and the Internet, but to be honest, he would rather just drink fine Italian or other wine, accompanied by the right foods. He teaches classes in computers at an Ontario French-language community college. His wine websites include    and

Visit his website devoted to Italian travel

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