The Top Ten Reasons I Hate Wine - Six, Food Problems

Champagne and caviar, are they funny?...

Fine Champagne And CaviarIn Wine Humor

Champagne caviar basket in wine wit

Champagne and caviar, a great combination.

Some of you may know me from my wine articles such as “I Love Italian Wine and Food, ” similar French and German series, and my new series “A Wine Lover’s Weekly Review of $10 Wine.” It’s true; I really do love wine and food from Italy, France, Germany, and other countries as well. And who among us can reject a bargain? But I also hate wine and many aspects of the wine scene. Let me explain my top ten reasons for this love-hate relationship. Previous articles discussed the unconscionable expense, the embarrassing lack of knowledge, no wine cellar, I can’t get the … bottle opened, and insomnia. This article discusses the food problems that seem an inevitable part of my wine experience.

Good wine should go with good food, and great wine should go with great food. But who can eat all that good or great food? I am very lucky—at this point of my life I can eat what I want, in moderation, without having to go on a diet. I better not push my luck or I’ll be joining the multitude of dieters. But even non-dieters have major problems with great food; the problems of expense and time. You can bet your bottom dollar that if food tastes great, it is either expensive, takes too much time to prepare, or both.

Furthermore, great tasting food is probably not so good for you. If the calories won’t harm you, those tasty fats and carbohydrates will. I don’t care what others may say, in my way of thinking 8% yogurt tastes a lot better than 0% yogurt. Neither one goes with wine, but I think you get the idea. And of course, for some of us overeating can cause sleep difficulties. I know if I eat too late at night insomnia kicks in. And as I get older and older, too late at night becomes earlier and earlier. I said sleep difficulties, in addition to insomnia a fine meal with wine makes me sleepy. As you can guess napping after imbibing wine is a great way to generate insomnia.

Pizza and Chianti in wine wit

Pizza and Chianti, a great combination.

And what about pairing wine and food? It’s not enough to have a great wine and great food – the wine and the food have to be great together. The possibilities for error increase enormously. There is an easy “solution” to this problem. Champagne is known to pair well with almost any food. Just open your wallet (see Article 1), pop the cork (See Article 4), and enjoy. So if you have unlimited funds and aren’t bottle opener challenged, the food pairing problem is solved. Otherwise…

Here are the other reasons that I hate wine, to be explored shortly: Wine snobs, Those smells and those tastes, Those colors, Home brew, One more problem and yes, The Solution.

About the Author

Levi Reiss has authored or co-authored ten books on computers and the Internet, but to be honest, he would rather just drink fine Italian or other wine, accompanied by the right foods. He teaches classes in computers at an Ontario French-language community college. His wine websites include    and

Visit his website devoted to Italian travel

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